Month in review... October

I’ve been trying to write this blog post for days… make that weeks! But somehow a month has come and gone with no updates. They say time flies when you’re having fun! When you have a minute or ten to spare, catch up on all our October fun… just pretend these happy highlights were spread out over the last four weeks!



Are you sure you’ve done this before???

I fear I learned nothing with the Goose… or at the very least, I seem to have forgotten everything from her infancy. I am sure people look at me and wonder if this is my first baby… as I scramble to find a diaper only to discover there is only one in the enormous DIAPER bag… as I take 5 minutes to change one dirty diaper… as my poor child screams in the aisles, check-out line, and parking lot of Walmart*… as I fumble to get the carrier out of the car… all the while wondering when I will go out in public with make-up on instead of sunglasses.

*Meanwhile... how is it that people go in the walmarket looking like the posterchild for rednecks today and no one gives them a second glance BUT... if you look half-way decent and have a screaming baby whom you are trying desperately to soothe while you attempt to check-out THEN people look at you like you have four heads????  I must say though, one very kind soul came to my aid in the parking lot, helping me load my trunk and taking my cart for me so that I could get said screaming baby and her sister into the car.  God bless you nice lady... wherever you are. 


Goodbye stretchy pants!

Elastic-waist pants are great… if you are in preschool, but for those of us over 6… nothing beats a good pair of REAL jeans. How happy I was the day I put away the last pair of stretchy pants and finally returned to the land of real pants with zippers, buttons, and pockets! Sure they are a little tighter than before, but maybe they can pass for “skinny jeans”??? Who really needs to put anything in their pockets anyway?!?



Lots of Hands & Wet Socks…

Sissy lost her cord at only one week, but we felt that was still a bit too early for a real bath… and she didn’t seem to mind the changing table “bath” too much, so we were in no hurry. When the day finally arrived to introduce Sissy to the tub, the Goose was SO excited! She decided she needed to get in the tub to “help”… As we all oohed and ahhed in our best baby-talk voices, Wes began to chuckle… not at the silly sounds we were making to reassure Sissy that the tub is fun, but at the sheer number of hands there were in one small tub… that’s right, there were eight! Two’s company, Three’s a crowd, but EIGHT… Eight is great!

Not so many days later, I found myself running late (if you can imagine that!), so I decided to delegate baby duties to speed things up. Daddy has always been in charge of bathtime for the Goose, so after four years of practice, I felt confident in his abilities to bathe Sissy by himself… that is until he says… “By the way, if you wonder why Sissy’s socks are beside the sink, they are drying out… I remembered to take her diaper off, but I didn’t think about her socks until she was already in the tub.”



First Trip to Church…

At three weeks, we felt ready to return to church. After scrambling to feed, bathe, and find weather-appropriate clothing for all, we finally set off with over-packed diaper bag, grouchy 4-year-old, and screaming baby in tow. Arriving a mere 5 minutes late, we had high hopes for Sissy sleeping through at least half of the service… WRONG! She made it through a song and the greeting time before the meltdown began. I decided it would be best to listen to the sermon from outside the door after a quick diaper change… only the quick change turned into a huge mess as Sissy not only spit-up all over her pretty smocked dress, but peed all over it too. The ensuing wardrobe change led to a screaming fit, which required a feeding to calm the angered child and, of course, another diaper change. By the time we returned to church, church was over… perhaps Sunday school would go better? Not so much. (Though we did enjoy a few minutes of peace thanks to Pam!) Returning home, Wes and I reminisced (over the screaming) how the Goose slept through church for months… ahh memories… we will remember Sissy’s first church visit as an epic fail. Thankfully, we were not easily defeated and week two proved to be a much more enjoyable experience without any major meltdowns.



Daddy’s new toy…

I didn’t keep an accurate count, but I think the Goose got at least as many presents over the last few months as Sissy did! She is one spoiled well-loved little girl! I only hope she knows how lucky she is… no one wanted her to feel left-out when her baby sister arrived. I think Wes might have felt a bit neglected though, so he had to get a new toy too… I am pretty sure the highlight of his month was the arrival of our iPhones… that’s right folks… we’ve entered the 21st century… our phones are now officially smarter than we are. And we wonder how we ever lived without them!



Pumpkin Patch Fun!

Sissy celebrated being one whole month old with a trip to the Pumpkin Patch! She and the Goose were both on their best behavior… loving every minute of pumpkin-picking, maze-walking, picture-taking fun! Really, it was a fabulous afternoon for all of us… even Daddy... as we shared our first “family tradition” with Sissy.

Is she a good baby???

This is what I hear at least ten times a week… often more. I have decided that this particular ridiculous question ranks right up there with “Are you going to have another one?” or “When are you going to try again for a boy?” in the Most-Stupid-Yet-Most-Often-Asked-Question-To-A-Woman-Who-Has-Just-Given-Birth List. I am also astonished at the number of complete strangers who ask the aforementioned idiotic questions. The latter two I am wise enough not to answer, but the first… well, the first sort of drives me crazy(er). What I would like to know is does any new mother really answer “No” when asked if their NEWBORN is “good”???? Seriously. Sure Sissy has only two speeds… she is either perfectly content or really, really, really screaming mad. But I am ok with that. She is a BABY… she’s supposed to cry… but that does not make her “bad” folks! That just means she is a baby!



Spilt Milk…

The Goose and her Daddy went on one last trip to Carowinds one warm Sunday afternoon. While waiting in line, Wes was telling her how next spring, Sissy can stay with Gamma and Mommy can come ride the rides with them, to which the Goose replies… “Mommy can come, but she can’t get on the rollercoasters… because if she did, Sissy’s milk would spill all over the place!” Hilarity I tell you.



Best Seat in the House…

Sissy enjoys moving, but only on foot... She does NOT like the car seat AT ALL and is not a big fan of the swing. She will tolerate her bouncy seat long enough for Mommy to get half a shower or eat half a meal, but no more! She is also ok with rocking… as long as you bounce while you rock or if she was already asleep when you started to rock. But her favorite spot… the changing table… go figure!



Six Wonderful Weeks…

Sissy is now six weeks old! She “celebrated” with a trip to the doctor for her first month check-up, which was a couple of weeks late, and a vaccination, which she was not at all a fan of. At six weeks, she weighed in at 10 pounds 5 ounces… up 3 whole pounds! (The doctor told her if she breaks his scale she has to pay for it) She also grew 2.25 inches and is now 21.5 inches long…. As you can tell, she likes to eat!

At six weeks, Sissy is starting to smile a lot and even coos a little when you talk to her. She follows objects and people with her eyes now and recognizes familiar voices. She has lost all of her hair except that in the back (yes, we have a bit of the friar tuck going on for now) and new very-light-blonde baby fuzz is coming in nicely. AND… after WEEKS of protesting… she is learning to tolerate her car seat, even napping in the car on occasion! Praise God for answered prayers!



Precious Pumpkins…

Some people like to turn their pumpkins into frightening faces… but we prefer precious pumpkins filled with even more precious pumpkins! Have a look at our Pumpkin Fun…

 
 
Now you are officially up-to-date on all (or at least most) of the family fun!  Stay tuned for more updates HOPEFULLY coming sooner to a blog near you!  Happy Fall!

Bleeping Beeping

At the request of Wes… here is the amusing account of our morning… AND, as an added treat… Wes wanted to give his own account too! Shocking, I know! I think he just doesn’t trust me to portray him in a fair light… perhaps he is right. But if he starts writing FOR FUN AND reading (something other than golf magazines & online news), I think I may have to have him checked-out by a medical professional… he could be seriously ill! Anyway… here you go… You can decide who tells the better tale…


A Wes Tale…


So, as I awoke this morning looking forward to a leisurely Saturday, I began to hear a faint “chirp” every 45 seconds that appeared to be from one of our 6 smoke detectors indicating that the battery needed to be changed. I checked our battery bunker in the garage, but of course no 9-volts to be found so I would have to put up with the chirp until one of us could go to the store. After breakfast I sent the women to Wal-Mart for batteries and groceries while I went to the local John Deere dealer to pick up a lawn mower wheel to replace the one that broke off while I was cutting the grass last night (by the way nothing runs quite like a Deere with only 3 good wheels).

After we both returned from our errands, let the game of “which smoke detector is chirping” begin. Our house was not designed for this game to be easy as most of the detectors are located near the hallway (which has an echo) and makes it difficult to locate the chirping source. By the way, only 2 batteries were purchased which made it even more important to locate the correct detector(s) since all the batteries could not be replaced. So, I tried changing the battery in the first one but the chirp remained. I tried another one and then started hearing multiple chirps. I tried yet another and I think all the detectors were chirping. By this point I had lost track of which battery came from which detector and whether I had in fact removed a bad battery or not.

As I began to contemplate throwing all the smoke detectors out the window (and second- guessing my abilities as a handy man), my intelligent wife began googling to find a solution. She found several things to try including different procedures for taking the battery out, resetting, and plugging back in , but that only made the problem worse. The last solution she found was to turn off the power (via the breaker) to the smoke detectors and then reset them after removing the batteries and then plug them back in once the power has been restored. This solution was supposed to fix a problem that could originate when the power company is doing some sophisticated stuff to keep the power from going off in the middle of the night. This may sound like an easy process, however as I mentioned earlier our house was not designed with smoke detectors in mind. So, I open the breaker panel and no circuit is labeled “smoke detectors” so I think maybe they are on the same circuit as each room (none of which are labeled correctly either). At this point I realized this task was too big for one person, so Carrie stepped in and manned the breaker panel while I yelled from various rooms whether the power was on/off as she flipped the breakers. After we thought we had all the power off, we followed the process of unplugging and resetting each detector. Of course after performing this procedure for all the detectors, the nagging chirp remained (which the goose quickly pointed out).

Since the electrician who wired our house must have been dyslexic or drunk (or possibly both) it was determined that the power to the smoke detectors was probably never switched off. One last ditch effort was made (Carrie at the breaker box and me staring at the little light on the smoke detectors) where Carrie switched every breaker and I yelled out the results. Finally, the breaker labeled “Den” seemed to turn all the smoke detectors off (I don’t know how I missed that logic). So, I reset everything again and then both Carrie and I sat very still with our fingers crossed and praying that we would not hear the chirp again. After about 2 minutes, we determined that order had been restored and our prayers answered.



And now… the TRUTH… from Carrie…

The beeping began early in the a.m…. We knew exactly what it was: a smoke detector… We thought we knew exactly how to fix the problem: a new battery… We thought we knew which one was beeping… Well… we were right… and we were wrong.

At first the problem caused no nuisance. I had plans to head to the Wal-Market this morning anyway, so I would just pick up a new battery… simple enough. By the time I returned home, the beeping had grown louder & seemed to have multiplied (ie. I thought it was coming from one room & Wes thought it was coming from another… lucky for him, I purchased two batteries!) and Mr. Fix-It was eager to make the little “chirp” stop. So he changed one battery... and no sooner had said battery been installed than another “beep” appeared. No problem… he changed the other… and they both beeped… louder this time. Then he decided he needed to reset the bleeping beeping things in order to remedy the problem… commence siren loud enough to wake the neighbors… Pause… then “BEEP… beep… BEEP!!!!” They ALL stared going off at different times.

By this point, I am laughing… All I can think of is the episode of Modern Family where the guy gets so frustrated with the incessant beeping that he rips off all the smoke detectors only to find later that the beeping is still there & is coming from something totally different… hilarity I tell you. But Wes… he is NOT laughing. I know that look… and I know the exasperated hand gesture and curse words that will soon follow… if I don’t act fast I think he will join the Modern Family guy and rip off all 6 smoke detectors. He’s already moving batteries around like a crazed game show contestant in search of the right match… And I just sit and laugh. However, being the wise woman that I am use my brain instead of my brawn and go to the magic interwebs in search of a solution while Wes works up a mighty sweat and his anger continues to build. (His fury was not abated by the goose who felt the need to follow him around saying “Still beeping!” … “I heard it again Daddy.” … “Daddy! It’s STILL beeping!” )

Thanks to google, I discover a logical solution… there is a specific sequence which must be followed, including turning off the breaker to the hard-wired smoke detectors. No problem… EXCEPT that the genius electrician who wired our house did not label ANY of the breakers as “smoke detectors” AND, come to find out, MOST of the labels are incorrect anyway… Enter new problem/game: The Which Breaker Is It Show! After literally turning half of the breakers off, Wes follows the instructions, but not entirely as he assumed the order in which he took out the battery, reset the detectors, turned on the breakers & replaced the batteries did not matter… Oh contraire! He announced that all smoke detectors were reset… I flip back on the power… and what do you know… the bleeping beeping fest continues! And I laugh some more.

Ok, at this point I see that Wes is going to explode, so I decide to do a little experiment… if we take out ALL of the batteries and turn off the correct breaker, the little green lights on the blessed things should go out, then we can CONSITANTLY follow the CORRECT order of resetting and replacing and in THEORY the problem should be solved. After tripping 10 breakers, we discover that in fact all of the smoke detectors are on the same circuit… only they are marked “Den”… of course! Why didn’t we think of that before!

So the sequence is followed, per the interwebs magic instructions, and what do you know… the bleeping beeping subsides… and I laugh some more.

A little comic relief

I don't know about you, but I could use some comic relief today (& every day for that matter!)... so thought I would share the goose's quote of the week... Hope you enjoy!

Amongst the Goose's favorite toys at Granny's house are some little plastic animals and people, most of which were my Daddy's when he was little.  Miraculously, the farm animals, cowboys, indians, etc. have survived three generations of play.  Anywho... the Goose likes to think that all of the cowboys and indians are "farmers" (which makes sense considering she has no idea what cowboys and indians are and they are in a box full of farm animals), and upon discovering the old-timey fireman, who is wearing a long coat she announced very matter-of-factly, "This must be the preacher."

"Oh really?" I replied.

"Yep.  See he's got his preacher cape on."

So to all you clergy out there who thought you were merely wearing a robe... to this four-year-old, you are in a class with the super heroes because you are actually wearing a cape!

Friends...

Friends... aren’t afraid to admit their flaws...

Friends... chase the poopy pigeons away...

Friends... put on a bonnet in public just for a laugh...

Friends... constantly seek to better themselves....



Potty Power!

This is not a flashback (more of those to come later)... I just couldn't resist sharing today's hilarity/mayhem. 

Circa 1am our power went out due to the rediculous wind accompanying the equally rediculously strong thunder/lightening storm.  Circa 6am the goose wakes up and heads straight for the potty... two seconds later the tears start when the light won't come on... and because she has to let daddy help her... and because we won't let her flush.  You see, we have well, and no power equals no pump, hence no water to flow in to flush said potty.  This, to an almost-four-year-old is VERY troubling... AND prompts EVEN MORE questions than the standard 100/hour.  We did our best to explain why the lights won't work and why we can't flush the potty, then proceeded to bribe her into ceasing with the 50 questions game by letting her carry around the battery-operated Snow White night light, which is clearly better than a flashlight any day.  Well, Wes had to take the dog out, and I couldn't take the questions on the very few hours of poor sleep I had, so, being the stellar mother that I am, I sent her out with him, the dog, and, of course, the Snow White light... (Enter 4 minutes of peace... ahh!) Upon her arrival back in the house, the goose, who is now no longer scared of our lack of power, proudly informs me...

"Mommy, there are a lots of leaves and sticks in the yard... I think that's why we don't have any potty power."

Yes, Goose, I think that's it.  And the moral of this story... never underestimate the importance of potty power!

Seriously Funny...

While you anxiously await the monthly review (coming soon to a blog near you!) Here are a few funny quotes from the goose to tide you over....

"When the baby is born and you still have to write a paper, I will take care of her."
(can you tell what I do too much of lately???)


After crying, stomping, and throwing herself on the floor for no apparent reason...
Me: “what was that outburst about?”
Goose: (with most serious and sad look ever) “sin.”
Me: “well, I can’t argue with that.”


Goose to Wes…
“Daddy, get your bike out so we both can ride.”
Wes… “Well, I can’t right now…”
Goose… “Yeah, you don’t have your bike riding clothes on… Go put on your tennis shoes, socks, leggings and dress… THEN we can BOTH ride bikes!”
(I would like to see that!)


Clearly, there are some words I say too much, for instance… clearly. Actually ranks right up there with clearly, as does seriously. (Can you clearly tell that I seriously like adverbs a bit too much?) ANYWAY, evidently I need to add "rather," "quite," and "attractive" to the list. As usual, the goose provides me with such a funny mirror… here’s the conversation over the playdoh table…
Goose: “This is rather quite purple. Actually, it is quite a tractor.”
Me (looking up to see if she had miraculously created a purple tractor): “What’s that?”
Goose: “This purple is quite a tractor!”
translation… “the purple playdoh is quite attractive”… Guess I need to work on annunciating… at least she is increasing her vocabulary!