I see in this mirror a smaller version of myself… more beautiful on the outside… more joyful on the inside… And yet, this beautiful reflection magnifies all of my flaws… my worst traits shine in this mirror like an unsightly blemish in the middle of a perfect face… one that cannot be covered up. I see my sharp tongue, my arrogance, my stubbornness, my temper, my impatience… my sinfulness in hers. I want to say this is simply the sinful nature she was born with, which is true to an extent, but I fear that she has learned many of these behaviors from me… more than I would like to admit. I strive to correct things in her that I do not like, and suddenly I remember my parents trying to correct these same things in me. Perhaps it’s not her I should be trying to reform but myself… the log is in my eye… she received but a splinter from it. I am the source, at least in part.
SIN… hers, mine, all of ours… it takes over quickly… much more quickly than we realize, and it affects us all. My sin leads her to sin. Her sin, no matter how small, frustrates me and leads me to sin, again. We are surrounded by it every day and if we think our sin only hurts us, we are kidding ourselves… BIG TIME.
I am torn, for as her parent I feel the need and responsibility to correct her… to teach & lead her to be a better person than me… But it’s a bit more “do as I say, not as I do,” when it should be “do as I say and do.” I also recognize that she is a sinner… born that way… and living in a sinful world… So maybe I need to give myself a break (just a little one?), because not all sin is taught/seen.
I am reminded of, and encouraged by the words of Paul:
“I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. […] it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:19-20)
Learning to overcome sin is just that… learning. It must be taught. I must teach her to accept responsibility for her sin. And to do that, I must see my own failures & flaws and accept responsibility for them.
We come to sin naturally but cannot overcome it the same way. Grace must be given and received, and grace is not natural, but supernatural. I must teach her forgiveness, and not just how to forgive others, but also how to forgive herself. Perhaps I am learning that lesson in the process too.
In this mirror… I see myself. I see my sin. But I also see potential … I see beauty... I see joy... I see God.
Teach me Lord, through my children. Show me my own sin. Help me get the log out of my eye so that the splinters may not infect my children and so I may see more clearly how to help them overcome their own imperfections. Help me forgive myself, accepting your grace, and teach me how to show that grace to my children… how to forgive them when they fail… how to love them when fall short… Help us overcome sin, together.
