Time Out

Well it’s official… I don’t have time for this… I should be doing any number of a hundred things on my mental to-do list… that’s right… I haven’t even had time to make an actual list, perhaps because I don’t even know where to begin. The floors are covered in dog hair & were covered in little pieces of Christmas tree, but the dog took care of those for me (thanks Sampson… I knew you were good for something!)… My kitchen appears to have no counters… the refrigerator has more food that needs to be thrown out than things one can safely eat… there is sewing to be done… cookies to make… a tree we finally purchased but have yet to decorate… Wes has made valiant efforts to reduce the laundry mountain, yet somehow there is still more to wash... But here I sit, using the few minutes of precious and rare naptime to type. Even I am not sure this is the best decision, as I am sure you might agree.


If by chance you are anything like me, perhaps you look around and wonder where to start and how to make this Advent season less... well, just less… less stressful, less busy, less messy, less commercial. I run through my calendar and my to-dos and I cannot seem to find one thing to strike from the list, nor can I find time in the next three weeks to do it all. I want this season to be about and for Christ but I keep getting lost in my own sea of worthy to-dos. I know who and what are the most important things on my list but somehow there is conflict in my heart… I WANT to do these things for the people who are the most important, yet the normal things I MUST do for these same people (diapers, laundry, grocery shopping, feeding) seem to get in the way. I am at a loss, and so I type and pray, hoping that somehow I will find a way to make time. Make time… maybe I can sleep less? Make more time… more coffee? Make even more time… forget the laundry?

And then, I realize… how bold am I to think that I can make time… only God can make that thing so precious… the one thing on all our lists, no matter our age… the thing that we cannot purchase, nor google a way to DIY… T I M E.O U T.

That’s what I need… a time-out. Can I just go sit in the corner one minute for every year I am old and think about what I’ve done wrong? Please! I need it! Can I cram my buns into the naughty seat? I would love to! I need a time-out, for thinking that I have the power to somehow make time… for thinking that I am capable of producing the “perfect” Christmas, focused purely on the reason we celebrate and yet encompassing every wonderful, memory-making thing and experience for my children, while capturing it all in photos I will treasure forever. WRONG! And so, I give-up... And I give up my time to the one who created it.

I am throwing my mental list out the figurative window and deleting things off my virtual calendar. You’ll forgive me please if I don’t make an appearance at your event… if my children do not wear matching holiday outfits… if my cookies come from a box… if your gift seems sub-par and store-bought… if my photos are mere iPhone snapshots… if your Christmas card arrives after Epiphany… and even if I wear sweatpants and no makeup every day of the week. I am forgiving myself… foregoing my list… and giving up what was never mine to begin with. Now back to the poop, spit-up, tantrums, and undecorated house I love so much… my time-out is up.